Omelette you wear a helmet


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I recently got this eggheaded image from Virginia. It is apparently from Germany, which makes sense to me because there is something very 'European' about it, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Still it is a perfect example of why road safety campaigns based on the threat of head injury won't work on hipsters. They just don't care. They think the laws of gravity (and of the road) don't apply to them.

However, hipsters do care about the threat of mockery. So the best thing to do with pictures depicting head injuries is give them Vice Magazine-style captions.



So you're a bald douchebag riding down the street one day, and the sight of your luxuriant chest hair fluttering in the breeze sends onlookers into a kind of frenzy. And they're running along after your bike like deranged Beatles fans and you feel a little pleased, until you realise they're all carrying screwdrivers.



I saw this guy riding along Canning Street in his bodacious Oakley sunglasses and his "No Fear" t-shirt, singing along to Nickelback. And I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong, until it dawned on me: he wasn't wearing a helmet!


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About Helmets For Hipsters

  • I grew up riding my bike without a helmet, feeling the breeze in my hair. Then that darn government made helmet wearing compulsory. It still is. But you try telling that to fancy-free young urbanites. So in the interest of safeguarding the well-coiffed craniums of my generation, I decided to launch a community service project… Helmets for Hipsters.

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